pink lips           dry cheeks
sitting on a neck strained
out      lessens the double chin
and the
downward
gaze.

the first time i wanted it
it came          like the rushing waves
wrinkled out on the dim horizon
or the shaking thighs of a
cunt stretched thin by careless
calloused, fingers          either way
my feet were soaked
and my body wanted to sink
like an ugly, stone, fantasy.

the second time          still stings
against my belly         on my wrists
the blood dried along the keyboard
while some boy i loved told me
i fucked like shit
but loved luxuriously.

i look down to stop the sun
singing soft and sweet of the
cool water that once filled my insides.
against the dry heat         its sirens beg me.

Stay.